Decisions
by Steph's Puppet
Summary: AU of Episode 8. Celine does not leave for her convent and instead decides to stay and speak to Jude. One-shot.


**Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to 'You, Me and the Apocalypse', this is a non-profit piece of work done solely for the purpose of entertainment.**

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Decisions

Decision made, Celine carefully placed her goodbye later on Jude's desk in a position where he would see it as soon as he entered the room. Her attention drifted from the letter as she examined the rest of the objects on the desk: a nearly empty decanter of whisky, a new pack of cigarettes, a few open books on theology. She felt absurdly glad that there was so little alcohol available at the moment, he had been too busy to think about replenishing his stock, and she knew that he had a tendency to drink more when he was upset. Her departure would no doubt cause him to relapse into old habits and it was a small comfort to know that at least he couldn't cause himself too much harm.

She looked around the room for what she was sure would be the last time. Unbidden, memories came to her of the times she had shared with Jude in this room. He had humiliated her in this room, crushing her self-esteem to see if she was too passive to stand up for herself, but even that single moment of cruelty had been completely overshadowed by all the times he had been kind to her. He was probably the most selfless person she had ever met, and he did not deserve the contempt and ridicule that the other priests often subjected him to. She felt a fresh wave of grief when she realised that she would be leaving him in a nest of vipers by himself, but the thought was not enough to dissuade her from her decision to leave. She had asked him to choose between the church and her, and although she did not want to admit it his hesitance had deeply hurt her. She knew that if she had been given the decision, she would have picked him in a heartbeat. Despite that, she did understand why he was reluctant to leave, he viewed his duty as more important than his own happiness, but Celine could not help but speculate that their task might not be his only reason. She was acutely aware that she was the one who had invested more into their relationship, she was the one who had put her heart on the line in Malta, and she worried sometimes that he did not love her as much as she loved him.

While she was caught up in her thoughts, her gaze had landed on today's newspaper. She looked at it absently for a few moments before making sense of the headline. The shock of it was enough to distract her from her depressing thoughts. With everything that had happened that day, she had completely forgotten that the results of Operation Saviour were to be announced. Looking around for a clock, she checked the time. The results were to be announced within the hour. Thoughts of leaving for the convent were completely abandoned in favour of hunting around for Jude's laptop. She opened a webpage and searched around for an online news channel that was covering the story, there was plenty to choose from as the world's attention focussed on the military installation where all the observations were being done. The voices of the news anchor and various guests filled the silence of the room as they speculated over the result. Listening to all the thoughts and theories, Celine was struck by the fact that this was the first time she had really stopped to listen about the oncoming apocalypse. When she and Jude had been investigating the different potential messiahs, neither of them had really had time to accept the fact that the world might be ending, neither of them really giving a thought to Operation Saviour and its implications. They had barely even noticed when Saviour was launched, too distracted by their feelings for one another. But now, Celine let herself consider what Saviour might mean for both herself and Jude.

If Saviour succeeded, there would be no need to find a messiah. In fact if Saviour succeeded, it was very likely that there was no messiah to be found. God was omniscient, he would not send them the second coming if the world was not actually ending. Her and Jude's investigations would be finished, and no doubt Jude would be reoffered his position as Devil's Advocate, but would he pick that position over being with her? The only objection he had voiced to leaving the priesthood had been their task of finding the messiah, but if Saviour succeeded there should not be any other reason for them not to be leave. Taking all of this into consideration, Celine wondered if she had made her decision to leave a little too hastily. There was no harm in waiting a little longer to find out whether Saviour had succeeded or not. If Saviour failed, she would stick with her original convictions and re-join the convent. If Saviour succeeded, she would offer Jude her ultimatum again. If he truly loved her the decision should be easy enough, if not then at least she knew where she stood in their relationship.

The wait for the result was excruciating. With her attention on the screen, Celine's hands found Jude's rosary and she murmured prayers to give herself something different to focus on. The tone of the newscaster was hopeful but distracted, no doubt everyone was waiting with the same kind of anticipation to find out how much time they had left in this world. There was a sudden pause in activity on the screen as new information was relayed to the newscaster. Clearly struggling with her emotions the newscaster gave the result with an impossibly wide smile. Collectively around the world, there was a moment of disbelief before the elation began. Saviour had succeeded. Celine felt all the tension in her body leave her as she slumped down in relief and closed the laptop. With shaking hands she poured herself a few fingers of whiskey into a glass and knocked it back. It was uncharacteristic behaviour for her, but something that felt deeply necessary at that moment.

Knowing the result, her most recent decision about her relationship with Jude weighed heavily on her mind, and she settled down in the chair to wait for his return. A short while later, she heard the sound of the doorknob turning, but forced herself not to rise to greet him. They made eye-contact from across the room, and she found herself frowning as she took in his somewhat dishevelled appearance. Most notably, his clerical collar was absent. A possible reason for its removal immediately came to mind, and she found herself daring to hope that she might be right. He dragged a chair over to sit beside her, but did not say a word. Celine wanted to ask him whether her had heard the news about Saviour, but did not trust herself to speak, half-scared that her convictions would crumble if she opened her mouth.

"Let's go to Florence." He said eventually. She looked at him uncomprehendingly, having forgotten what she had told him that morning. He didn't notice her confusion and continued. "Christof can deal with this messiah mess, I want no part of it anymore."

"But surely, Christof cannot be trusted with such an important task by himself?" It wasn't that she was unhappy by this unexpected turn of events, but his complete U-turn on the subject had surprised her.

"He is more trusted than me. The meeting I had today made me realise the futility of the work we have done. I wish that after Malta we had never returned to Rome."

"Do you mean that?" He turned to look at her and gently took her hand. She let the rosary drop from her fingers so she could grasp his hand back.

"You are more important to me than the church, I'm sorry I didn't realise that sooner. If we are going to die anyway we might as well make the most of the time we have left."

"We might have more time that you think." She told him with a smile. "Saviour worked, the world isn't going to end." He looked at her blankly as the news sunk in.

"That solves more than a few problems." He leaned in and kissed her deeply, her arms wrapped around his neck and pulled him closer.

"I think we should take this opportunity as a fresh start." He said to her when they eventually separated. "We could go to Florence as you suggested. Then once we've exhausted the tourist sites, we could try and find somewhere to live. The city we pick is entirely your choice."

"That all sounds like a good plan to me." Celine hesitated. "Would you be opposed to legalising our marriage?" Mother Superior's condemnation of their relationship still concerned her. Speaking vows over a bible could be considered a spiritual marriage, even though it was not legally binding. The fact that she and Jude had spoken the vows while using false names could possibly invalidate even that tenuous bond.

"I would be happy to marry you properly. I would even be willing to put up with a ceremony, if that would make you happy."

"I don't think that will be necessary." She said with a smile. "When do you want to leave?"

"Why not now?"

Celine's suitcase was already packed, so she helped Jude gather his belongings. They were just about to leave when he suddenly stopped in his tracks and looked back into the study thoughtfully.

"Jude?"

"There is something I need to do, I will be quick."

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When Christof entered Jude's room, clutching a piece of cloth soaked in chloroform behind his back and a length of rope, he was surprised to find no sign of Jude or many of his possessions. Instead there lay an envelope on the desk addressed 'To whom it may concern', the contents of which included two resignations and a cheerful suggestion to check the front page of tomorrow's newspaper.

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 **AN: Like my other oneshot, some assumptions made about how Jude was killed off. Any depiction of religion is meant to be from the point of view of the characters and does not represent my own point of view.**


End file.
